Tuesday, October 3, 2017

BROKEN

Suicidal with depression I'm probing these thoughts looking for my Nirvana,
Capsules down the drain I can only find sanity in the healing of marijuana,
Sometimes I find ways to bleed just to reassure that I'm still alive,
Perhaps I'm addicted to the fangs on the blade penetrating my flesh,
But I'm still trying to find my way without taking the easy way out,
I reach out into the depth of this darkness that's imprinted itself on me,
I can't find any one to hold me though I saw the devil and he looked a lot like me,
I delved into his eyes for my soul among the souls in his eyes,
Souls like mine hankering for a way out in this darkness,
How does one travel this far and not have memory of the journey?
I know once upon a time I left home to chase a dream,
I thought I could have it all when I was young,
But I could never have that with what I have become,
And if I could start over again would I end up here?
Down on my knees I pray to God who won't talk back,
I don't know how much more kneeling these bones can take,
So I buried my faith in a jar of forgotten childhood pennies,
Maybe at the end of time I could trade it in for my soul,